Julie Becker

counting the days

A year ago I went on a run at night with my friend Joanna Caplan. It was my last day at Double Edge after spending 4 months there. After spending this time when everything I did revolved around art and doing what was required to sustain the environment that could support it. A time when I was surrounded by people who were just as hungry and passionate as I was. It was also right after we had finished our work with Rena Mirecka.

It wasn’t a very long run, just around Ashfield Lake, but as we ran we soon realized we were running into pitch blackness…down the dirt road around the lake, we were running into nothingness. And never had I felt so clear, mentally and physically. There was nothing in my body that felt heavy or painful, nothing in my mind that was fighting against my physical efforts or weighing me down, and in the darkness there was no future destination to anticipate. I was just freely running into the unknown, with only the present moment to experience. If anything, what lied ahead was whatever my mind’s eye could create. At points I felt I was running faster than I ever had. It was a combination of everything experienced and learned in the previous four months, and it was also a moment of embodying presence. In the midst of this physical engagement, I felt like a prism.

I try to remember what that feeling was like, and how I can find it again. Maybe anticipating and setting my sights on obtaining that feeling defeats the principle of it. But for a year I have looked for recognition of this feeling, and asked myself about it, in the midst of a completely different environment, life circumstances, and obligations. Initiating my own theatre work, creating a work environment, teaching and leading others in a methodology that was foreign to them, and continuing a dialogue and relationship within this process that allows our work to propel forward…all despite a busier life and the stress, frustration, anger, and just plain tiredness that comes along with that, all of which I have been feeling.

In 10 days I will be returning to Double Edge and stay for a month and a half. On July 14 I am going to Poland. Originally my trip was planned from July 14-August 2. However I am now extending my trip to August 20. I’m searching for an organic farm to work at for two weeks (not only do I think I’d enjoy it, but it’s definitely better for my budget…), and then after that, I will be working with Rena again, this time at the Grotowski Institute. A few years ago I don’t know if I would have believed I’d actually be doing anything like that/working at the Grotowski Institute…it’s really something I’ve wanted to do for the past several years and it is blowing my mind. Yes it does mean I’ll miss the Double Edge summer spectacle performance, after presumably working on it in a large capacity. But maybe I’ll catch a dress rehearsal before I leave.

I have many questions for this summer, both about my theatre work and my life in general (though the two overlap in several areas). I hope to live in the search rather than expect to reach/fixate on an answer or goal. I will be thinking about how to balance my art and work in a way that is really sustainable for me when I get back to Boston after the summer. But I also hope most importantly to recognize moments of embodying presence. How can I refind it this summer, and how can I find it again and again when I am back in Boston, when I will be working on my play in a greater capacity than I am now? How can I continue to work with freedom instead of judgment? Last summer in Boston I felt a lot of joy and lightness…despite working a crazy schedule, I was discovering and sharing new things and at the beginnings of working to create something potentially great. Now I’ve sort of slouched into a work pattern that is unnecessarily stressful and anger inducing, to me, and though I still train and rehearse somewhat regularly, I can’t wait to rediscover a renewed sense of search and vitality for myself.

“The past will never happen again, the future is unknown.”

In addition, I can’t wait to see Joanna’s show Total Verruckt! at the Charlestown Working Theatre, which runs Friday May 24 and Sat May 25. Completely devised solo show created at Double Edge. I’ll be going on the 24th. Hope to see you there.

“chicken surprise and spooky letters: a birdlesque”

“Surprisingly, he is not a chicken”

So…We wanted to have a showing of our “work in progress” but have come to the conclusion (or compromise might be a better word) that because we are at a transition phase, and because we have potentially conflicting ideas of how an evening like that would/should go, and what we would get out of it, we’ve decided that what would be most useful to us and our process before we take our summer hiatus is to continue rehearsing and staging but put off a showing of work for a while. But we plan to take video at the end of the month of what we have. So we have a record of it mostly for ourselves and also if we want to show anyone in particular. For me, that would at least give me some sense of a conclusion to “part one” of our process, which has so far lasted almost one whole year. If any of it is any good maybe I’ll post a clip here.

For the rest of May we will be going through the scenes we have and rehearsing them, fixing the staging, filling in gaps. It’s the middle chunk of the play.

I think we’ve just blocked at least 1/3 of the show?? Whoa.

There is also a bunch of text that we need to find. At first I wasn’t thinking about text at all but now we are working with an idea involving text that is central to how the play is pieced together…just have to find out what we are actually speaking. I plan on searching for text this summer. We both have some ideas about how to go about this and how to share with one another even when we will be at opposite sides of the country/world doing very different things (Importance of Being Ernest and Shakespeare comedy vs Double Edge/Song of the Goat/Poland/MAYBERENAMIRECKA training).

Off to Double Edge now to pick up custom made stilts that my friend there has so generously offered to make for me. And then immediately back to Boston again.

bell props

“Great bell for someone who needs to ring for help” Sold.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/127718872/vintage-ornate-loud-ringing-brass-bell?ref=sr_gallery_11&ga_search_query=brass+bell&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=vintage

Would like “Brass Bell with a strange dark secret” too but it might be a little out of our price range. Still thinking about it.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/84580882/brass-bell-with-a-strange-dark-secret?ref=sr_gallery_17&ga_search_query=brass+bell&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=all

Bells are pretty cool; hope what we do with them is cool too.

I’ve added some new reward levels for donators for my campaign. I think they are pretty cool deals.

$10 You get a handwritten thank you card.

$50 I will teach you something of your choice in a session in person or via Skype. Choose from acroyoga, stiltwalking, musical saw, tap dancing, hand and/or machine sewing, monologue/scene/acting help, vocal techniques, physical training. And you get a thank you note.

$100 I will not only teach you something in a session and give you a thank you note, but I will also bake you something, anything you like, from a real recipe. Cakes, muffins, cupcakes, loaves…imagine the possibilities.

To claim these fabulous prizes click here.

Besides all this serious theatre stuff I’ve been doing I’m also about to do a silly horror movie as well called The Creed. It’s written and directed by Kevin James (of New Kids on the Rock). You can check it out here, as well as its indiegogo campaign.

This summer…

While my project right now is progressing well, there will be a chunk of time this summer where I will be focusing on a trip to Wroclaw, Poland to participate in several intensive workshops that act as an audition for the Teatr Piesn Kozla graduate program (admittance Fall 2014).

This is really a monumental thing for me. Please take a look at my fundraising page for this journey, and share with others.

http://www.gofundme.com/2ctmpg

I’ll be adding some donator perks shortly.

PS I’ve also just got a hold of some pictures of me training…I don’t mean to be vain but they are cool to look at…

Credit to Maria Baranova